Wednesday, 15 March 2017

Qada, qadar.

Kita tau Allah tu sentiasa akan bagi yang terbaik untuk hambaNya. Sebab Dia yang Maha Mengetahui, Maha Bijaksana, Maha Mengasihi.

Tapi kenapa susah sangat nak betul-betul berserah dan yakin padaNya?

Percaya pada Qada dan Qadar. Rukun Iman tu wehhh. Basic orang Mukmin.

Semoga saya dan anda semua menjadi Mukmin yang bertaqwa.

Saturday, 18 February 2017

I just watched a video of my 3 and a half year old nephew reciting surah Al Ikhlas and doa tidur.

That got me thinking, how did we lose our once pure heart that we had during childhood and turned into such monsters?

I really hope that my nephew won't end up like us. I pray that he would have that pure heart forever. I hope adulthood wouldn't ruin his heart, like it did to ours.

This is one of those moments when I really really envy young children. Such pure human beings. That purity that we will never have again.

Friday, 17 February 2017

I guess I am just too good at pretending to be happy, that, eventhough I try to tell people that I'm hurt, they don't believe me.

But I think it's a good thing. That means people see me as a strong person. I wish I am one though. But I know I'm not. Yet.

Saturday, 21 January 2017

six months.

I have been an MBBS student for the past 6 and a half years. Today, I am finally a doctor.

While others normally got their medical degree in 5 years, I had to take an additional year to pass my first year.

My journey was smooth afterwards and I thought I finally was on the right track. But suddenly I failed my final year exam and had to resit the paper 6 months later.

I seriously thought that I would pass that final exams, but I didn't. I still remember the time when I received the news that I failed, my friends and I were out novel hunting. And I literally sat on the floor, in the middle of a book fair, and cried my heart out. Everyone was looking at us, but I was too devastated to even care.

A few weeks later, my 6-month journey began. I fought the urge to just crumble on the bed and went to every single class that had been arranged. The routine for the first 2 months was, wake up, go to class, eat, sleep, cry, sleep, cry, sleep, and wake up to go to class again.

And then it got better. I got better. I finally stopped crying every day, maybe just once a week. But, then, their convocation day arrived, and I was sad again. But I just kept on going.

It was a hard journey, these past 6 months. But, it was worth it. I got to know the lecturers a little bit better. I got to learn things I didn't know before. I got new friends. And I got to see another side of me that I didn't know exist - a strong me.

But I still wish that I passed my final exams the first time.. because I wanted my parents to feel happy earlier. And of course, the outstanding fees that I have to pay now *sigh*

Anyway, I feel blessed to have had those 6 months. And I hope that if a final year extend student is reading this, I hope that you too will feel blessed at the end of the journey.

I hope I can graduate together with my friends in October. InsyaAllah, korang boleh buat!

I have been an MBBS student for the past 6 and a half years, and, today, finally, Alhamdulillah, thanks to Allah the greatest planner of all, I am finally a doctor.

My journey is still long. I know. But for now, let's tanam anggur. Haha.